InCider Press, September 2003, page 6

THE BARBERSHOP TENOR'S CREED
By Earl R. McGhee

1. I will remember that I am a Tenor and that Tenors are unique among men. I will conduct myself accordingly.

2. During chorus rehearsal, I will allow myself to be shushed by the Director, but at the performance, I will drive my high notes to the far corners of the room.

3. I will show a certain respect for the Bass, for few men could sing with their knuckles dragging upon the ground. I will not get mushy about it.

4. I will always remember that the Baritone really thinks that those strange notes are hauntingly beautiful. I will respect his intentions, but I will not get mushy about it.

5. I will not forget that all Leads really wish they could sing tenor, but I will not let my pity for them

become obvious.

6. I will be very selective about the Lead, Bari and Bass that I will consent to sing with in a quartet. I know that I will always be in great demand, for they are many and we are few.

7. I will practice until no one can tell when I go from natural voice to falsetto, for I know it drives the others crazy.

8. When pickup quartetting, I will insist upon trying to sing the bass part, for I know it causes the real Basses great pain.

9. Whenever, in a show, my quartet manages to create an overtone, I will let a sly smile play across my face that says, "Yes, I really did hit that note".

10. I will hold my head high, remembering that I am a Tenor and that humility is for those who cannot afford arrogance. ( see Bass's Creed on page 7)

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Bass:
10) You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note.

9) You don't have to worry about a tenor stealing your job,
8) -or- a pre adolescent boy stealing your job.
7) Action heroes are always basses. That is --- if they ever sang -- they would sing bass.
6) You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop. (boong ching ... boong chi-ching)
5) If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always broadcasting.
4) You never need to learn to read the treble clef.
3) If you get a cold, so what.
2) For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool people into thinking there's an earthquake.
1) If you belch while you're singing, the audience just thinks it's part of the score.

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Tenor:
10) Tenors get high -- without drugs.
9) Name a musical where the bass got the girl.
8) You can show the leads how it should be sung.
7) Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to see "The Three Basses?"
6) You can entertain your friends by breaking their wine glasses.
5) Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-improvement section of the bookstore.
4) You sing along with "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."
3) When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of money doing voice-overs for cartoon characters
2) Gregorian chant was practically invented for tenors. Nobody invented a genre for basses.
1) You can entertain your friends by impersonating Julia Child.