September 2006                                                     InCider Press                                                          Page 9

     The composition of barbershop singing is a study of mystery and intrigue. The voice parts are composed of four sections: BASS, TENOR, LEAD, and BARITONE.


BASSES: Are a very obnoxious group whose major attribute is that they are numerous, indicating that it takes a minimal amount of talent to be a bass. Among other shortcomings, they congregate in large numbers and make continual efforts to overpower the other three sections with grunting and belch-like emission in vain attempts to prove themselves real men and equal. They are a raucous band, and know the dirty version of every song ever written. They know only one level of singing - LOUD. They are frequent patrons of liquor dispensary establishments.


LEADS: Are a kindly group who hold gala celebrations and let their children out of school every time they hit the same note at the same time. They casually saunter past, flirt with, scoop up upon, lean against, or have a nodding acquaintance with the correct note. They rarely land upon it in unison. Leads are gentle hearted and never sing louder than requested, a circumstance which leads many to believe that none of them has learned his part. Leads generally rely on the basses to sing their pick-ups.


TENORS: As a rule, are charter members of numerous prima donna organizations. They sass directors, show up late for rehearsals, congregate by themselves during breaks, and send their children to private tutors. They base their air of nobility on the fact that they are so few in number. Nobody ever says anything mean to a tenor because he might quit the chapter.


BARITONES: ( you may want a airsick bag nearby) They save many choruses with their wisdom, foresight and kind hearted actions. They bathe frequently, sing with their eyes glued to the director's every motion, have their music memorized, and help white-haired ladies across busy streets. They comb their hair smartly, and have all buttons on their sweaters  and jackets. Their timbre produces tears in the eyes of the white ladies recently helped across the street.


 ADDENDUM: Listening to each of these parts separately is enough to create a feeling of nausea in a suit of armor. It is only after the basses have regurgitated their burps, the leads have learned their notes, and the tenors have learned humility that the baritones can tolerate the mixture enough to make a superb blend of voices. Then, and only then, is the group ready to begin calling it's efforts real "Barbershop Singing."

Author Unknown but most likely a Bari  ♪

BARBERSHOP SINGING EXPLAINED

New Member Brian Authaud-Day received his membership papers from Bob Swenson.  We welcome Brian to our group.  Even though new to our group Brian is not new to Barbershop.                                                                       Photo Terry Nanninga

The Chapter Board met September 11th at the Westbank Townhomes Clubhouse.

The Treasurer=s Report by Bill Bunyan shows funds available of $11,065.

Preparation is being made for the Open House on October 19th in connection with the membership campaign Steve Fisher, VP of Music and Performance, reported that Gary Drake has been working with Chaplain Sampson to arrange for the chapel performances on Sunday, September 17th.

The picnic following the Ft. Riley performances will begin at 1:00 p.m.  The caterer will provide everything for the meal at $6.25 per person and $3.50 per child, but the Board decided to defray some of the cost and charge only $5.00 per adult and children under 12 will eat free. Thirty-two have signed up, at last count, for the CSD Contest.

 The Board decided to sing for critique only, not as contestants.  We are investigating chartering a bus to transport the chorus to and from Wichita for the chorus contest

Pat Caffey, Secretary

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